So You Think You Can Dance

When I was younger, I did So You Think You Can Dance: The Next Generation, and I had an amazing experience. So when the opportunity came years later to do So You Think You Can Dance again, I was hesitant, but also really hopeful that the experience would repeat itself. At the end of the day, in my heart of hearts, I still loved being onstage and performing, and that ultimately convinced me to say yes.

Going into it, I was also optimistic because I was told there would be a real emphasis on technique. That was exciting to me. I had spent my entire life training to become a technician, and I hoped this could be an opportunity to show that side of dance in a brighter light.

But once I got there, I realized pretty quickly that it was a completely different experience. Technique wasn't necessarily the main focus, and while I understand that dance can also be about storytelling, personality, entertainment, and so many other things, it was difficult for me to feel like something I had spent my entire life building could be looked past so easily.

The environment itself was also incredibly intense. The days were long, there were times when I barely ate, the rooms were freezing, and my feet would swell from being in pointe shoes for hours and hours. Physically, mentally, and emotionally, I was exhausted.

I am incredibly grateful for the opportunity and for how much it helped me grow as both an artist and a person. But I also think it's important to be honest: the experience challenged the way I viewed the industry and made me reevaluate what I wanted my own relationship with dance to look like. When it was over, I didn't want to dance for nearly six months, and I know I wasn't the only person from that experience who felt that way.

Looking back, though, one of the most important things the experience gave me was clarity.

It made me realize that I didn't want to move to Los Angeles and spend my life constantly chasing the next audition. I still love performing, and I would absolutely love to step into the right opportunities in the future, whether that is a film, a project, or something that genuinely excites me as an artist. But I realized I didn't want my entire life to revolve around constantly trying to be chosen.

For me, there had to be something more grounding and meaningful than that. I wanted to build a life and career that felt fulfilling even in the seasons when no one was watching, while still leaving room for the opportunities that truly felt right.

That experience helped me realize how much I wanted to use what I had learned to help train and support the next generation of dancers. I still love performing, but I also found a deeper purpose in helping other dancers grow not only in their technique, but in how they see themselves and navigate this industry.